Five topics to discuss when you get started planning your wedding

5 topics to discuss when you are just starting to

plan your wedding!


First of all, if you’re here and recently engaged, let me say, congratulations! You did it, you are now officially engaged and planning a wedding! 


The engagement period is amazing, everyone is excited and congratulating you but then…BOOM,  questions come flooding in…

Where are you getting married? When is the date? What are your colors? Who’s in the wedding party? Can I come? Or the worst of all – How are you going to handle planning during Covid? 


Yikes! And chances are you’re like, “ummm can I have a second to enjoy the new sparkle on my hand????”. 

I’m here to tell you to take the time to enjoy. You don’t need all the answers immediately. In order to help you get started I have compiled 5 topics to discuss about wedding planning before you get started so you and your love can be prepared for the planning journey and be on the same page throughout. 

Vintage Lounge area for wedding reception in Monterey at winery

Photo by De Joy Photography at Eden Rift Winery

1. Priorities

This is the most important aspect in my humble opinion. So whatever you do, don’t skip this one! Have an open and honest discussion about what is really important about the day. Maybe this is the food and beverage, maybe it’s spending a whole weekend with those closest to you, maybe it’s the setting or venue,  maybe it’s the style and unique design, every couple is different and your priorities can easily guide you in the process. When you ultimately have to make decisions or compromise in the wedding planning process this is where you can come back to your top priorities and ask yourself if the item, vendor or splurge aligns with your priorities. 


2 .Who’s paying for what?

This is a tough subject and planning a large celebration where you have a lot of money invested in it is sure to make emotions run high. If you are just getting started sit down and decide who is paying for the wedding or how contributions will be applied to the wedding. Gone are the days of traditions and one family paying for everything, I also have many couples that opt to pay for their wedding independently. So if you and your fiancé are on the same page about the wedding planning budget it will make life easier. 


3. Guest list

How many guests attend your wedding is the number one driver of costs on your wedding. The more guests the more expensive. Typically, an intimate 50 person wedding would be significantly less than a 300 person grand affair. Being on the same page about how many people and getting a realistic guest count will be instrumental to getting started. 

I often see couples start planning and fall in love with a venue for a smaller wedding but then their parents, who are financially contributing want to invite way more people then they planned on and now have to compromise on something. If they knew from the beginning they could have saved themselves the heart ache. 


4. How to support each other in the process

This is something we often look over. In my experience many couples find one individual in the relationship taking on the bulk of the planning work. Which also means adding some stress to that individual’s plate. Here is some pre marriage advice – have a discussion early on about how the other can support you in the process. Maybe you just need your partner to listen to you vent about your parents or maybe you need them to take on some tasks. Discuss it so you give your partner the tools to support you. 

But, an even BETTER way to get through a tough and demanding process is to a HIRE A PLANNER. Seriously, a wedding planner can help alleviate so much stress, confusion, discomfort and help support and guide you. Even though wedding planners can occasionally be an added cost to the budget, I know that we can easily offset our costs in avoiding making costly mistakes and also saving you 100s of hours! 


5. Location, Location, Location 

Do you want a destination wedding? Do you want someplace local to where you live? Do you want some place with special significance to your relationship? Have a conversation about where is best for both of you and your families so you can narrow down the search in terms of geography. 

Every January and February I speak to so many couples who stress themselves out looking at 100s of venues and are just as confused as when they started. Do not do this! Narrowing down the geographic region will really help! Again, if you can’t narrow it down geographically, talk to a wedding planner and I guarantee you that with a set of priorities and criteria a planner could help you find the perfect venue for your wedding. 

Stationary for a Pebble Beach Private Estate Wedding

Photo by De Joy Photography with Stationary by Little Bird Paper Company for a Pebble Beach Wedding.

So, I hope this helps you get started in planning your wedding. There is a lot to consider and it is not always easy but having these conversations at the start of planning your wedding will really help. If nothing else, hire a wedding planner, I promise we know what’s up! 

If you are wanting to plan your wedding in Monterey, Carmel, Pebble Beach or Big Sur, contact me and I would be happy to give you a complimentary discovery call to help get you on the right path! 

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